Braving the Wilderness: Love

LOVE… what a simple and yet complicated word. Perhaps the greatest paradox of all. Love, especially later in life, carries a different kind of courage.

Some call this gray love.

It is not young and reckless. It is layered with history, wisdom, loss, healing, and the quiet understanding that nothing meaningful comes without risk. To love someone freely, to trust again, to believe in something with your whole heart, these are acts of bravery.

As Brené Brown writes, vulnerability is where joy, gratitude, and grace are found. Love asks us to step into that vulnerable space. It asks us to be honest, open, and willing, even when life has taught us how fragile things can be. The paradox, though, is that at this point in our lives, we have most likely experienced a deep loss or hurt that would prevent us from being so vulnerable. Our instinct is to put on a full suit of armor and protect ourselves.

It is the person who can be honest with themselves about this reality, and who is willing to do the hard work of healing, who will experience all the blessings God has for them. This is my true desire: to live wholeheartedly, to be vulnerable, and to never settle for anything less than sharing life with another person who has also done the work and longs to experience the same. In the end, is that not what we all want if we are honest? To live authentically, and to love someone back with that same authenticity? Are we all not worthy of that? To truly belong to ourselves, while at the same time belonging to each other? And if that kind of love never comes, then it is far better to walk alone in peace than to settle for less than what is true, honest, and wholehearted.

It is with that vulnerability and respect for the intimate nature of love that I have to say this: some parts of love are meant to be lived, not explained. Not every story belongs in a public space. Some are sacred in their privacy. But I do believe this: love, in all its complexity, and it is complex, is still worth choosing, especially when it is rooted in peace, integrity, and wholeheartedness.

Sometimes the bravest thing we do is simply remain open to it.