Braving the Wilderness: The Dark Night of the Soul-Worship Is My Weapon

Nov 28

The violent sky held its breath, And in Your light I found rest. *Hillsong, Prince of Peace -* Peachtree City, Georgia - October 31, 2024

My pastor used to say, “It’s not if a storm will come, but when.”
The words resonated, but I did not yet understand them.
I was not in a storm—but I also knew I was not immune.
None of us are.

If I am honest, in the weeks leading up to it, God was already preparing my heart.
I was in denial at the time.
I had felt a subtle shift, a quiet stirring, a sense that something was changing.
For all of us, the “what and when” looks different.
But one thing is true: it comes.

For me, the storm arrived on a night that I believed would be one of reconnection—a simple dinner, a chance to breathe and remember who we were. Instead, with one unexpected question— something from deep within me, would not let it go unasked.
“Have you ever been, or are you, emotionally or physically involved with someone else?”—
My life unraveled.

That was the moment I stepped into my own dark night of the soul.

Dr. Brene` Brown states in Rising Strong, “Curiosity is a shit starter.”

Yes. Yes, it is.

But God.

He reveals in the light what is hidden in the dark.

The hours that followed were long, hollow, and disorienting.
When the world is awake, you can pretend to be okay.
But in the middle of the night—when the house is quiet, when everyone you love is sleeping—truth echoes louder than anything else.

And in that darkness, when fear and grief pressed in from every side, I found my battle cry:

Worship.

It was not dramatic.
It was not polished.
It was desperate, guttural, holy.
I turned on my playlist and let the songs carry what I could not.
God lined them up one after another—whispers of rescue, reminders of His presence, anchors for a heart in shock.

For months, I slept with headphones in.
I played that same playlist all night, then all day in every room.
Because the One who knew my storm was coming also knew the weapon I would need.

Worship did not take away the pain.
But it kept me standing.
It kept me breathing.
It kept me believing that the sun would rise again.

And it did.

If you find yourself in your own dark night of the soul, I hope you find your weapon too.

Our music is such a personal heart cry.
I will share a few of mine—but you will need your own.

What pierces through to your soul?

Please, create one now, before the storm comes… before the night grows quiet… before the thoughts begin to rage at 2:00 AM.
Build your playlist while your heart is steady, so it is ready for you when you are not.

Here are a few songs I listened to in those early days that, even now, stop me in my tracks.

When I hear them, I am immediately taken back to that season.

And with every note, I remember one thing:

God was faithful then.
God is faithful now.

Hillsong United’s Dirt and Grace, but especially Prince of Peace and Even When It Hurts

Rescue- Lauren Daigle

Great is Thy Faithfulness- The old hymns are powerful.

The Goodness of God-Jenn Johnson

Prince of Peace- Hillsong United- Of Dirt and Grace
My heart a storm
Clouds raging deep within
The Prince of Peace
Came bursting through the wind
The violent sky held its breath
And in Your light I found rest

Tearing through the night
Riding on the storm
Staring down the fight
My eyes found Yours
Shining like the sun
Striding through my fear
The Prince of Peace met me there
You heard my prayer

Hope like the sun